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| 4.19.2008 |
| So, You Want To Go To Hell... |
Well, I just had an interesting argument with a "friend" of mine. Unfortunately, Facebook deleted her account and messages before I could get a good copy of them. It was quite interesting.
It started off simple, with her asking me to go to her church with her tomorrow...
I declined, because of work and... Well, most churches find people like me to be evil =D
Well, apparently that's why she wants me to go.
It's been a while since I've had anybody tell me that I need to be saved. And it's the first time, I think, that I've been told that I need to "fix myself" and become a straight girl.
The conversation ended with her claiming that her Mom was going to get the pastor of their church to come pick me up at 8:30 sharp tomorrow morning. Shortly after that, her account got deleted along with all her posts.
It made me feel a bit bad for her, really. She's been controlled by her Mom for years. She's not really the religious fanatic, her Mom is. And she does and says what her Mom wants. She didn't even try and hide it in her posts, and friends of mine that know her Mom have told me that it's not just a cover. She's a puppet. I mean, sure. She's religious as well, and she does have her issues... But if it wasn't for her Mom, I think she'd be a nicer person.
I also realized just how lucky I am. I have such potential to be discriminated against, especially by the overly-religious. And yet, it hasn't really happened.
The biggest case of discrimination I've had was by this girl in middle school who was certifiably crazy. She kept going on about how her family was the last in a line of "famous witch hunters", and it was their goal to burn all the witches. She was the kind of person who would yell insults at me from across the street if she saw me, and threatened me to my face. Luckily, it was all empty threats. I probably should have been scared, considering the potential she had for actually hurting me... But I just held my head high and kept walking.
And, until tonight, I don't think I've ever really been discriminated against for liking women. I mean, I've met people who don't agree, and people who think it's a choice... But I'd never really met anybody who has told me to change, that I need to stop "sinning" and follow the way of God and be straight.Labels: Boredom, Memoir, Soapbox, Utter Confusion |
posted by Scarlet Gypsy @ Saturday, April 19, 2008  |
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| 11.30.2007 |
| We're Releasing On Time |
... Alright, so you guys probably thought I'd never update again. You were probably right, but I changed my mind. Ha!
I haven't updated in a while because there hasn't really been much to update about... I mean, things have been happening, but they aren't necessarily update worthy or they've been too personal.
But, I'm going to try.
For the last little while, I haven't been doing so good. I've been doing a lot of crying. Things have been stressful, really stressful. I've been working 4 days/21.5 hours a week, and going to school full time. I don't have time to see the people that I want to see as often as I would like, and sometimes it hurts. But I'm working through it the best I can. Besides... I would rather see you once every two weeks then never again.
Things have been getting better though. There's something different in the air, and it's like there's a new energy pulsing through my veins. The last time I cried, it wasn't out of sadness. It was out of absolute happiness. It was out of being accepted exactly as I am, with all my problems and differences. It was being allowed to be who I am, without having to be afraid. It was seeing things that I thought would be ignored fall into place. It was... wonderful.
Also, I've quit my job.
That's right, no more Harvey's. I handed in my two weeks today. Why, you ask? Don't I need the money, you ask? Of course I need the money. But I have a new job. A closer job. I got hired at the new Tim Horton's that's being built just down the street from my house. I'll be working two eight hour shifts on the weekend, for a total of 16 hours a week. That's close to what I had, and I'm pretty sure I won't die from it.
... I hope.
My sister has finally left home.
All her stuff is still here, but she is not. Nobody seems quite sure where she's going to stay or when she's getting her stuff, but she does not want to come back. Right now, she's staying with her abusive ex-boyfriend. She always ends up going back to him. But apparently this time, he doesn't want her. She said something about trying to find a place, but she doesn't even have a job right now.
I'm not sure what else has happened in the last 2 months... My brain is sleeping right now.
... ... ... I miss you, Daydream Believer! =DLabels: Memoir, School, Soapbox, Utter Confusion |
| posted by Scarlet Gypsy @ Friday, November 30, 2007 |
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| 5.10.2007 |
| Brilliant Deduction |
So, word is getting around quite quickly. People are telling others, people are seeing for themselves and figuring it out slowly. If you're still trying to figure it out, the answer is YES. We are going out. No, it's not illegal. No, he's not too old. Yes, I am dating a guy. Yes, I do still like girls. No, I don't care if you don't approve. What's happened has happened, and I'm in this until the end, however soon or far away that may be. And if I start rambling on about him for some reason, just slap me.
On another note, this grounding isn't so bad. They took away my computer and my games, supposedly. I'm writing this blog post in front of them, and they know I'm on the computer. Of course, they don't know I'm actually writing this post. That would be pushing my luck.
Woops, I have to go now. Talk to you later!Labels: Memoir, School, Soapbox |
| posted by Scarlet Gypsy @ Thursday, May 10, 2007 |
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| 5.01.2007 |
| School Computers are Evil |
If you read back to my last post, you may see different words in quotations that weren't present when I actually made the post. There is a very simple, yet very evil reason for this. The school blocked my blog. See, apparently, my last post contained a banned word. So, the censor automatically felt that the blog was evil and found it fit to block it. So, now that I'm home, I went and changed the words that I felt were being banned. Hopefully, we'll be able to tell by tomorrow ^_^ Gold, could you check it out for me tomorrow? I would really appreciate it.
They should change the policy on school computers. I mean, I don't want them totally monitoring what we're doing, but they shouldn't be so strict on how we waste our time. I mean, if we're going to waste our time, we should be allowed. If anything, they shouldn't block sites based on "banned words". I mean, if they just heard the way we talk, they wouldn't understand that we aren't children anymore. Just because my blog says "smut" on it, or an email talks about something else the school deems "inappropriate", doesn't mean that it should be banned. Sometimes people go on rants, or need websites for projects that have been banned because the webmaster went on a little rant. They need to be more flexible with what they do and don't allow. The school seems to have broken things down into _ categories: Banned Words, Adult Content, Games, Hacking, Magic + Occult, and probably a chatting one.
Adult Content, Games, and Hacking I can understand. Like I mentioned before, Banned Words shouldn't be as strict as it is. Magic + Occult sounds like something that the Catholic school board would ban, not public school. I say this because all Pagan religions and a lot of folklore fall under this category. It should be mentioned that all other religions, however, are available and accessible. Christianity, Judaism, Islam, and Hinduism is all available. I know this because of a project I did in English class once, on Life of Pi. Anyways, I find this pretty discriminatory. Not just because I practice a Pagan religion, but because it is blatant discrimination and ignorance. It's not fair, and doesn't even follow the Zero Tolerance rule towards discrimination. Something needs to be changed about the school computer censors.
So, that was my daily rant. With only 5 calories a serving, and wonderful blend of spices, you'll never have to worry about getting to much! Enjoy! =DLabels: Memoir, School, Soapbox |
| posted by Scarlet Gypsy @ Tuesday, May 01, 2007 |
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| 4.07.2007 |
| Dynamite |
Nothing is making sense. My whole world seems to be going tipsy-turvy on me, and I don't know why. My grades are sinking, I'm procrastinating on things I wouldn't procrastinate on, I havn't been hungry, I keep sleeping more and more, and I keep bitching about every little thing. I also seem to be twitching and fidgiting a lot more than usual. You'd think I had some wierd sort of "'lazy-ass' disease for twitchers"or something.
My grades are what bother me the most. I mean, last I heard, I had 18% in Careers. 18 fucking percent! It's possible to pass, but that involves doing kick-ass on my summative. Which means I should be working on it. But I'm not. Instead, I'm sitting on my ass playing games, or watching tv, or blogging, or just doing nothing.
Like I said as well, I'm getting a whole lot bitchier. Things that I would normally shrug and say meh to are causing me to get pissed off and storm out of the room. Not even 30 minutes ago, my parents told me to find something to eat for dinner. I ain't hungry. After saying that, they told me to eat anyways. So what did I do? I yelled at them and came down here, practically in tears. Why? I have no fucking idea!
So, there you have it. My life just seems to be getting worse and worse. I think I'll go curl up in a hole somewhere and rot, if you don't mind.Labels: Memoir, Soapbox |
| posted by Scarlet Gypsy @ Saturday, April 07, 2007 |
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| 3.29.2007 |
| My day... On Paper! |
Well, I got bored. What's a bored blogger to do? Blog on paper, that's what! So, enjoy what I had to write today. It may not make much sense, but here it is anyways; all in it's wonderful, papery goodness!
Well, it's literacy test day. A morning full of boring questions and uninteresting snacks. At least I've got interesting people nearby. Midnight Rose is in the row beside me, one seat ahead. Orange Mistress is on my other side, three seats back. My first booklet is done, and I'm blogging on paper. At least I ain't coding on paper again!
One of the questions in this booklet was "choose a time of year and explain how it makes you feel." This was the only question I truly got mad at. See, there weren't enough lines for me to truly write about all the joys of Autumn. Oh well, no harm done.
Later
Okay, well, that was a pretty stupid test. I mean, don't you think by grade 10 they would have weeded out all the illiterate kids by now? Is this really a necessary test to be taking? Sure, I ain't the greatest speller in the world, andI make up words... But who doesn't see what's wrong with the sentence "Dr. Brown, like other doctors, study diseases."? To top off my general disappointment, I didn't get a cookie! I didn't get a cookie, and I couldn't have the juice! They just HAD to bring in apple and orange. Thank god for Dr. Pepper!
Interesting. I started off the day with 3 pieces of paper. Now I have. This one. Poor Midnight Rose. The teacher just gave her some strange paper from the recycle bin to draw on. She has no idea what to do. It's pretty funny.
In other news, I might be going out for another haircut in 2 weeks. I really want to get rid of these bangs; they're very... unattractive/ugly/bleh. Heh... How would EQAO react to this blog? With all the /s and unnecessary +s, ...s and ,s. And the mehs, blehs, hehs, etc. And the sentences starting with and.
... I don't know what to take instead of the wonderful coop next year. Philosophy + tech? Philo + Guitar? Philo + Spare? Philo + Ancient History? Ancient cultures are interesting. I love watching the three discovery channels: Civilization (My favorite!), Regular (2nd), and HD (dif. shows from reg, don't watch often).
I am bored bored bored, and theres a circle engraved on my desk. A perfect circle, too. Just goes to show some things can be perfect. Can't wait for lunch. I'll be posting this after school, probably. RAWR.
You know... I should probably start working on my Psych essay. After all, it is my summative, and I need the research done in 30 days...
(The end!)
So, that was my day in a nutshell while I was writing it.Labels: Memoir, Soapbox |
| posted by Scarlet Gypsy @ Thursday, March 29, 2007 |
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| 3.25.2007 |
| Fuck Your Idiocy |
Why do I call some of you my "friends"? All you do is sit around and tell me how much you hate me. You tell me that I'm worthless, annoying, and stupid. Your main pastime seems to be bringing me down. Well, I don't want to be your 'Fucking Brian' anymore! Do you not see that I have feelings too? Do you not see that I DO care about what you say? Do you not realize how much your supposed "friendship" means to me? Maybe I am stupid; stupid for thinking you could ever be my friend. You kick me when I'm down, you laugh at me behind my back. And yet, I am still at your mercy. I call you my friend, I get scared thinking that I could lose that. Am I stupid to think that I could ever change that? Am I stupid to think that things could actually go back to the way they were between us? Love: a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. To say that I love you would not be a lie. I am, however, not in love with you. To say that I would not miss your "friendship" would be a lie. As things are now, it's tearing me apart. To lose what little we do have would leave me an empty shell. I am no longer close to those I call friends; I have recluse of sorts, seperated from the rest of society by an ever expanding black hole. It would be an understatement to say I want to feel loved. I need to feel loved, for the sake of my very survival. I am surrounded by those that call me friend, and most treat me with the respect that I deserve. They enjoy my company, they are the ones that I turn to when I have fell. But even with all of these people surrounding me, I still feel so alone. You know who you are, even though you won't be reading this. Do you ever think about the things you say to me? Do you ever contemplate the fact that I too am a human being, and that I have real feelings? Sometimes I hope that you do, that you'll realize the error of your ways and things will go back to the way they were before. We came so close once, but we let the past get in the way of progress. I hope this shall not always be the case. How does it feel to treat me like you do
When you've laid your hands upon me
And told me who you are
I thought I was mistaken
I thought I heard your words
Tell me
How do I feel tell me now
How do I feel
How does it feel?
How should I feel?
Tell me how does it feel?
To treat me like you do
Those who came before me
Lived through their vocations
From the past until completion
They'll turn away no more
And I still find it so hard
To say what I need to say
But I'm quite sure that you'll tell me
Just how I should feel today
I see ship in the harbor
I can and shall obey
But if it wasn't for your misfortunes
I'd be a heavenly person today
And I thought I was mistaken
And I thought I heard you speak
Tell me how do I feel
Tell me now
How should I feel
Now I stand here waiting
I thought I told you to leave me
While I walked down to the beach
Tell me how does it feel when your heart grows cold
How does it feel?
How should I feel?
Tell me how does it feel?
To treat me like you do ~Blue Monday, Orgy Labels: Soapbox, Terrene Details |
| posted by Scarlet Gypsy @ Sunday, March 25, 2007 |
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Vagabond Sphinx
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| Am I The Walrus? |
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Name: Scarlet Gypsy
About Me: I am an unknown, an enigma. I am misunderstood by all, yet unable to understand myself. For now, I am the Scarlet Gypsy; roaming from place to place, from thought to thought, until I can find myself under all the dust.
Stalkers, Click Here (Profile)
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